by Holly Holst Gamel Masri
Don't Cry for Me, Tony Wiener
(sung to the tune of "Don't Cry for Me, Argentina", with new lyrics by Holly Masri)
We think you're crazy, we think it's strange
That you thought your career could be saved
after ten days of bullshitting, finally you caved.
You're unbelievable
You wasted your promise, your future, your name
The people who trusted in you
found out it was all just a game.
We know some men are players; they never change...
always looking for somebody new
always running from something they can't bear to see
They chase illusions;
flirting with women they never will meet
the excitement is all they desire:
Till one day, they tweet their last tweet...
Don't cry for me, Tony Wiener
The truth is, your business bores us
You got too cocky, you got too careless
And now the world knows that you are hairless...
You sent some photos; you played some games
Never thought anybody would know
till one fatal mis-twit put your junk on display
Exposure thrilled you;
you never thought that a nation would see
the truth that you hid from yourself
Tony Wiener thinks with his pee-pee.
Don't wanna see Tony's wiener.
The truth is, he's not impressive
I don't consider his sexting pass droll;
He's not a pin-up,
he's just an asshole...
Don't whine at me, Tony Wiener
You've treated us like used Kleenex
We've heard enough of your secret vices
So just get on with your midlife crisis
Yes, those were your briefs; we're glad you finally could say it, with... certitude.
But one... more thing we can be sure of, is that it's certain you... are... screwed.
